Does it all really matter?

  I'm sat on my bed with the window open, listening to some weird mix. I hear the sounds of outside, the birds, the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves. I can smell the freshly cut grass, on this bright spring day. While the world is turning around me, I can't help but think.. Does it all matter?
  People all around me hurt me, and I let them. I put my trust in them, wear my heart on my sleeve.  All I get in return is people stepping all over me. The people that may be important to me now, but will be just a single hair in my history. I know who the true people are in my life, so why don't I just hold on to them and let go of everyone else? Because life just isn't that simple, sadly, we have to accept what people have done to us and move on. We have to act like they didn't hurt us, but we know deep down that they did.
  Does all the hardship we put ourselves through, really worth it? I don't think so, and I'm tired of acting like someone I'm not, to make someone happy. So I decided instead of writing on here some bull about things that you have all heard before. I thought I'd write something different today, rather what Is inside my head and not the stress that is on my shoulders. Try to understand, my mind is a deep place.. Sorry if you get lost.
  So, like I said.. I'm sat on my bed with the window open, listening to some weird mix. I hear the sounds of outside, the birds, the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves. I can smell the freshly cut grass, on this bright spring day. All I can think about is how I really don't want to deal with this day or the next. I'm listening to this music, and I just wish I could climb through the speaker and live through the song. It reminds me of a peaceful but very rainy day, kind of dark but so beautiful. The wind is blowing the chimes and the only protection from the rain is a big tree in the middle of a forest. I feel no fear, but pure relaxation. I'm sipping a tea that never goes cold, no one is around me.. I'm utterly alone. All I can do is close my eyes and dream, feeling utter bliss.
  It's the place I go to when I am depressed, stressed, and just plain tired. Anything happens there, it's my dreamland. Someplace I look to for comfort, even the people there are good. All who I want to be someday, Happy. I find myself there at the worst of times, but also at the good. If only you could see it and feel it.
  So, I ask you this.. Does it all really matter? Or is it time to go to your dreamland and forget it all just for a little while. Wherever it may be, it's there.. just have to search for it. Like an adventure. -Andrea 

Song of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWsiNY8B_wM  Sea Oleena -Milk.