Imagination.

I have been too busy to write daily and long posts, but when I get a chance, I try to sit and write something good. So, here we go.

I have always had an outrageous imagination, ever since I was a little girl. I always had something cooking in my brain. To this day, my imagination is off the roof. People say you grow out of it, but really you don't.. you just stop paying attention and believing and you grow up. Believe it or not, I can still create and talk to an imaginary friend if I want to. Sure, I don't think they're real.. but that's the best part! They can be whoever you want, and it's only for you. Imagination is beautiful, it takes you to crazy places. We get our movies, books, comics, art, etc. All from Imagination. I could sit and dream of beautiful places and think of different outcomes. I can imagine what things would be like, or what they're going to be like.
I like to take naps and sleep a lot, I mea who doesn't? But a lot of people think I'm doing it to be lazy or get some rest, that's not the case. I do it, because I love to dream, and my dreams are vivid and beautiful. They're dreams that could be movies that people would pay to see. Or just some completely outrageous dream, that is crazy weird. But they're all just so beautiful and amazing in everyway.
Basically, the moral of this story is keep open minded and unlock the inner child. Channel the creativeness and imagination that has been buried deep inside. It's beautiful. -Andrea

Song of the day: Great Summer By: Vance Joy.

Happy Birthday to me

I haven't been on in a while, because I've been trying to push to get my homeschooling finished. So hopefully I'll have some kind of summer, but it will be cut short which doesn't really bother me. It's better than sitting at home all day, so why not? Anyway, back at the ranch, tomorrow is my Sweet 16 Birthday Party! Woo. Could you feel the sarcasm? Or did I sell it? Honestly, I don't really know if I'm excited for my birthday. Yeah, it will be nice to hang out with my friends.. but I have more anxiety than anything. Hopefully, things will go smoothly then they have recently. I hope I can feel confident and pretty, because that's just something I am not.. at all. Becoming a year older is anything but exciting to me, if anything it sounds awful. These past years have been anything but sweet, now that I'm turning the big '16' it makes it just more complicated. I don't really know how people put up with me, I'd be surprised if anyone comes tomorrow. I'm not really worth it, not worth the fret, the gifts, the money and dedication. I'm thankful, just guilty I suppose. I always think of the ghosts of my past, all that have caused me absolute hell in my brain.. but they probably never think twice about me. Which hurts because, that means I didn't even leave anything of myself with them and I tried so hard to. I'm sure most of them look at me and see the pathetic mess that I am, because they were one of few who knew my story.
   But besides the sob story, I am feeling a bit better lately.. maybe not really like myself, but better. I've been extremely tired lately, very stressed as well. But behind all of that, I've been confident so that's nice. I'm going to cut this blog short tonight, got a lot to prepare! I'll give you a couple extra songs of the day though! -Andrea


Song(s) of the day: Human. By: Aquilo
                               The Night Is Still Young E. By: Nicki Minaj
                               L.A. Story. By: Sammy Adams
                               America. By: XYLO

 

Random Snippet.

  I recently watched a movie and I am not totally confident in knowing if it was supposed to be as emotional as it was to me. I'm sat here at my open window, with a raging headache writing to whoever is willing to sit down and read this monstrosity. Thanks to the film I seem to be rethinking my life even more than I already have.
 The main character died at the very moment he was truly happy. He didn't get to live to the day he reached his life goals. Ironically, he died from the very same thing he described his passion with. He was always the big mouthed reject that no one ever listened to, with a broken home and a Physiological imbalanced mother. Since he was eight years old, he lived his to life to reach a certain future that he had created in his head, a lot like me in fact. I think that is what made me upset the most, because we are so alike. Sure, we both have different goals but still an a Imagined life the same. And to think that all could be thrown away at your most happiest moment makes you wonder about everything.

Happy Days,
Andrea.

Random Thoughts.

Why does it seem that people only care if you are famous, dying or already dead? Many people treat others like a wasted space, irrelevant to the world. Never taking a second look to the cashier, the waiter, the driver, etc. We don't even realize we could be passing the person with an idea, a cure, or even something darker. You could be passing a man who is going home to take his life and you have no idea. The world is a funny place to me, so particularly strange. People pay millions of dollars for artwork of dead artists, they go all around the world to see paintings hanging on an old nail. But when this artist was alive they never really paid attention. That happens a lot lately, people never paying attention. They never just take time to look at someone and see the pain behind their eyes. No one takes time to sit and really look. They just bypass everything, that's why we all get away with things.

I wish that I could just breath in the fresh air of somewhere new and beautiful. I want to be alone in this place, to be free in this place. Nothing holding me down just me discovering the land without the chains that bind me. Oh, how exhilarating it would be to feel my heart beating out of my chest, to feel the blood pump through my veins. The blood of fear and excitement, to feel so content. To dance, to run, to yell, to experience this marvelous adventure. To be with newly found friends, to go to places that I didn't even know could exist. That's what I would love, to have the life of an exciting, angst teen fiction. Full of eye glittering adventure and jaw dropping drama, what a day that would be. I want to make mistakes and live in the moment sometimes.

A lot of the time I wish I was noticed, I want to be seen. I want to have a bigger life then I do. People tell me that this my life that was given to me and I should except the fact and live it. But I disagree with that.. what is the point of life if you don't make something of it? I never really could understand what John Green meant in 'The Fault In Our Stars' when Augustus said he was afraid of oblivion. It never seemed to apply to me then, but now I understand what he meant.. because I am afraid of the same thing. I am afraid of never leaving some kind of print on the world, I am afraid of never making something of myself that is worth talking about. One of my biggest fears is oblivion. -Andrea

Song of the day: B.o.B - So Good.