I haven't been on in a while, because I've been trying to push to get my homeschooling finished. So hopefully I'll have some kind of summer, but it will be cut short which doesn't really bother me. It's better than sitting at home all day, so why not? Anyway, back at the ranch, tomorrow is my Sweet 16 Birthday Party! Woo. Could you feel the sarcasm? Or did I sell it? Honestly, I don't really know if I'm excited for my birthday. Yeah, it will be nice to hang out with my friends.. but I have more anxiety than anything. Hopefully, things will go smoothly then they have recently. I hope I can feel confident and pretty, because that's just something I am not.. at all. Becoming a year older is anything but exciting to me, if anything it sounds awful. These past years have been anything but sweet, now that I'm turning the big '16' it makes it just more complicated. I don't really know how people put up with me, I'd be surprised if anyone comes tomorrow. I'm not really worth it, not worth the fret, the gifts, the money and dedication. I'm thankful, just guilty I suppose. I always think of the ghosts of my past, all that have caused me absolute hell in my brain.. but they probably never think twice about me. Which hurts because, that means I didn't even leave anything of myself with them and I tried so hard to. I'm sure most of them look at me and see the pathetic mess that I am, because they were one of few who knew my story.
But besides the sob story, I am feeling a bit better lately.. maybe not really like myself, but better. I've been extremely tired lately, very stressed as well. But behind all of that, I've been confident so that's nice. I'm going to cut this blog short tonight, got a lot to prepare! I'll give you a couple extra songs of the day though! -Andrea
Song(s) of the day: Human. By: Aquilo
The Night Is Still Young E. By: Nicki Minaj
L.A. Story. By: Sammy Adams
America. By: XYLO
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